The V-Day cards and gifts have arrived!
"Dont you just love this? You can comb her hair, Chloe!"
And for my 27-year old brother, a walking penguin and a card...
Showing posts with label dad. Show all posts
Showing posts with label dad. Show all posts
BURNING MAN
To: Family
From: LJ
i love THIS! anyone wanna go to burning man?
To: Family
From: Dad
From: Dad
I think I may be smoldering right now. Do you have to camp out and are there bugs?
Four-Year-Old Puppet Makes Art
From: Me
To: FamilyTHIS is ridiculous.
From: Dad
I’m pretty sure it’s not a 4 year old but a puppet… and the parents are probably artists (con artists) and the paint was photoshopped. This art video is weirder than the republican debates.
Pro-Date, Pro-Occupy!
To: Dad
From: CJ
Read the articles below on dates. They should be an official staple of our shopping lists from now on!
To: CJ
From: Dad
I am pro-date (tho not eharmony.com), pro-fig, and pro-Occupy everything!
From: CJ
Read the articles below on dates. They should be an official staple of our shopping lists from now on!
To: CJ
From: Dad
I am pro-date (tho not eharmony.com), pro-fig, and pro-Occupy everything!
< 3
Me:first you have to type a < then 3 and it looks like a heart. kind of.
Dad (on g chat): ♥ ???
Me: nice!
Dad: How the fuck did it turn over and turn red???
Dad (on g chat): ♥ ???
Me: nice!
Dad: How the fuck did it turn over and turn red???
The Trash Goddess
From: Dad
To: Landlord
CC: Family
In response to your email about recyclables, where does the glass go?
From: Landlord
To: Dad
Glass, plastic and metal cans all go together.
From: Mom
To: Dad
i know i have been away for a while. but excuse me. i am the trash goddess. in the future, please direct all your trash and recycle queries to ME.
it's a matter of respect.
From: Dad
To: Mom
Trash goddess? Maybe you should tour with Charlie Sheen. I'll back off on all future garbage initiatives.
Funemployment
From: Dad
To: SJ
Subject: ADP shows 217,000 private-sector jobs added in Feb.
Good time to hit the market...things are picking up.
From: SJ
To: Dad
Thanks DAD. WORK IS ON THE WAY!!! although I just got my first response back from an employer. They are from Africa and want me to give them my social security and $150 for a credit report before they interview me :/
From: Dad
To: SJ
I like your can do attitude!!!!!!!
Chinese Mothers
From JP to EFMM: My dad sent this email about this tyrannic Chinese mother without any context, followed by the message below.
From: Dad
To: JP & Hil
Subject: Chinese Mothers
_____________________________________________________
Why Chinese Mothers Are Superior
CAN A REGIMEN OF NO PLAYDATES, NO TV, NO COMPUTER GAMES AND HOURS OF MUSIC PRACTICE CREATE HAPPY KIDS? AND WHAT HAPPENS WHEN THEY FIGHT BACK?
By AMY CHUA
A lot of people wonder how Chinese parents raise such stereotypically successful kids. They wonder what these parents do to produce so many math whizzes and music prodigies, what it's like inside the family, and whether they could do it too. Well, I can tell them, because I've done it. Here are some things my daughters, Sophia and Louisa, were never allowed to do:
• attend a sleepover
• have a playdate
• be in a school play
• complain about not being in a school play
• watch TV or play computer games
• choose their own extracurricular activities
• get any grade less than an A
• not be the No. 1 student in every subject except gym and drama
• play any instrument other than the piano or violin
• not play the piano or violin.
(FULL ARTICLE)
_____________________________________________________
From: Dad
Thinking about becoming Chinese. We might need to start over in parenting you. You guys up for it?
No Godzilla movies!! (is that Chinese?) ...Whatever
From: Dad
To: JP & Hil
Subject: Chinese Mothers
_____________________________________________________
Why Chinese Mothers Are Superior
CAN A REGIMEN OF NO PLAYDATES, NO TV, NO COMPUTER GAMES AND HOURS OF MUSIC PRACTICE CREATE HAPPY KIDS? AND WHAT HAPPENS WHEN THEY FIGHT BACK?
By AMY CHUA
A lot of people wonder how Chinese parents raise such stereotypically successful kids. They wonder what these parents do to produce so many math whizzes and music prodigies, what it's like inside the family, and whether they could do it too. Well, I can tell them, because I've done it. Here are some things my daughters, Sophia and Louisa, were never allowed to do:
• attend a sleepover
• have a playdate
• be in a school play
• complain about not being in a school play
• watch TV or play computer games
• choose their own extracurricular activities
• get any grade less than an A
• not be the No. 1 student in every subject except gym and drama
• play any instrument other than the piano or violin
• not play the piano or violin.
(FULL ARTICLE)
_____________________________________________________
From: Dad
Thinking about becoming Chinese. We might need to start over in parenting you. You guys up for it?
No Godzilla movies!! (is that Chinese?) ...Whatever
Affirmations From Dad
From: JJ
To: Family
ENJOY!
From: Dad
I like my kids. I like my soulmate. I like my remote control. I'm done.
That was fun kneee.
Dad's TV Pitches
Note: I asked my Dad to think of some ideas of skits for my cable access show.
From: Dad
To: Me
Fig triva- The host asks the tough fig questions...contestants have to hold up a fig if they know the answer
Peeps In The Entertainment Biz...
From: JJ
To: Dad
From: Dad
To: JJ
Spring Cleaning!!!!!!!
From: Mom
To: Family
Subject: FUN DAY!!!!!!
dear family,
tomorrow (saturday) is the day we all have to do our part, to contribute 100$, i mean 100%, to get our home ready and in spit-spot shape.
we can have pizza and sing camp songs all day! we will work together all day long and have group hugs every hour on the hour.
who's on board?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
love,
mom
also, there may be a raffle. or i may hide the affikomen from some leftover matzoh.
From: Dad
To: Family
Re: FUN DAY!!!!!!!
WoW!!!! Sounds like a fun-bonanza. I'm definitely in.
You Are PERFECT!
From: JJ
To: Mom and Dad
I made this picture...
(attached)
From: Mom
To: JJ
its perfect. do dad and i have creative kids or what.
mom
From: Dad
To: JJ
You rock JJ! Let the creativity flow...
Why We Never Helped You
To: Mom, Dad
From: JJ
THAT'S the reason we never helped you, Mom! We weren't "trained" to help you. We never did the dishes, swept or mopped the floor, cleaned, made our beds, etc. But, we did mow the lawn, and we did wash and clean the car(s) and we always helped dad shred paper at work, and did the groceries whenever he asked.
You probably should have bought this one instead:
At least I know for the future...
To: JJ
From: Dad
I'm not sure you guys would understand either of these books. They have words in them about helping. jk :-)
To: JJ
From: Mom
we DID have both books but i don't know what happened to "we help mommy" (hmmmm). i love those books, the way the kids are treated like slaves.
Dad + Snoop + Rihanna
me: do you know who snoop dogg is?
dad: yeahh shizzle my nizzle...that's snoop dogg
me: do you know who rihanna is? mom didn't.
dad: she got beaten up by her boyfriend chris.
me: wow, mom didnt know who she was.
dad: she doesn't know what fergolicious means either. she thinks black eyed peas is a vegetable.
[Submitted By JJ]
My Dad Is Too Cool For School...and the M2 Lounge.
From: Dad
To: Me
From: FacebookTo: DadSean invited you to "PEACEMARKET 2010"Event: PEACEMARKET 2010 What: BenefitStart time: March 10 at 7:00pm Where: M2 Lounge
Should I go? I thought PeaceMarket 2009 was disappointing. Plus the M2 louge is so 2008.
SUPERBOWL SUNDAY: Text From Dad
From: Dad
To: JJ
Dad: New orleans saints
me: Cuz of Kim Kardashian?
Dad: Bc of Katrina
me: That doesn't seem like a good enough reason
Dad: tis 4 me
[Texts] With Dad
Dad: Will you be home for dinner?
Me: No but save me some for when I get home.(a few hours later)
Me: We went out for dinner actually but I'll take mine for lunch tomorrow.
Dad: Drop dead. This is not a take out joint.
Dad: We are doing 7 sea food courses for x-mas eve. Sweet!!!!!!!
Me: Whaaat?
Dad: If you were here for dinner you'd know what we were talking about.
Me: We went out for dinner actually but I'll take mine for lunch tomorrow.
Dad: Drop dead. This is not a take out joint.
Dad: We are doing 7 sea food courses for x-mas eve. Sweet!!!!!!!
Me: Whaaat?
Dad: If you were here for dinner you'd know what we were talking about.
[Submitted by NK]
Texts From DMB Concert
Dad: 6 songs in to Dave Matthews. Your mom is smokin up with the kids.
{submitted by NK}
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