Mandals: Man Sandals!

Note: My mom and I once got lunch and sat on the deck to watch people walk by. After a couple of margaritas, she noticed a guy wearing sandals with socks and started to complain about fashion today. I informed her that sandals worn by men are referred to as "mandals" and she laughed for ten minutes.

To: Anna
From: Mom

Tell your mandal wearing friends about this.

It was wonderful to see you. Enjoy your time in graduate school - bathe your mind in knowledge and stretch your mind.

Love and kisses forever, Mom


To: Alex
From: Mom


sitting at computer emailing

Today is Respect Life Sunday

Note: Cody is my stuffed dog from when I was 8. My mom likes to personify him as an ideal child, usually for the purpose of harassing us to go to church.

From Mom: Today is Respect Life Sunday. Cody has been to Mass & Communion & is in one of the human life chains nationwide defending & protesting outside abortion clinics. Coday LOVES God too much to let him down! Loving, Loyal Cody!

[Submitted by Liz]

I'll Stick My Head in the Oven

From my sister: Does mom ever threaten you with sticking her head in the oven if you don't reply to her text messages or is that just my pleasure to receive?

From Mom: Go ahead, ignore me. I'll go stick my head in the oven...& i'm sick, too! Hope you spill your mushroom soup! & there were PRINCESSES on your spaghettios!...e-mailing Santa --mommy.

[Submitted by Liz]

BEST OF: "You're Starting to Look Like a Dyke."

From: Mom
To: Beth


A Little Update From Mom

To: Eli
From: Mom

Hi! It is always so fun to hear from you. Dad and I went to the Blue Cow for breakfast and then to Waterton Canyon for a long hike. We saw a bald eagle and a ton of pronghorn sheep. It is beautiful today...61 degrees in town and we saw 85 bikes just on Deer Creek.

Tonight the Hiester's are coming for dinner. Patrick turns 55 next Thursday. We were going to celebrate with 5 tapas plates but that got a little complicated but we are going to make an entirely Spanish dinner. Aren't we fancy?

I have to go to Vegas next week and you know how I feel about that. I'll be at the Rio which brings me about as close and faraway as I can be from you. You'll be rolling in mud and I'll be among high rollers. I would rather be with you.

You'll be amused to know that we haven't touched anything of yours since you left. Whatever you left on the couch and table downstairs are still there. We opened the door to your room so it gets the heat but haven't been inside. Your coats and scarves are still in the hallway. It's not a sentimental thing as much as it is that we've not gotten around to it and there's really not much point.

I love you,


Dad + Snoop + Rihanna

me: do you know who snoop dogg is?
dad: yeahh shizzle my nizzle...that's snoop dogg
me: do you know who rihanna is? mom didn't.
dad: she got beaten up by her boyfriend chris.
me: wow, mom didnt know who she was.
dad: she doesn't know what fergolicious means either. she thinks black eyed peas is a vegetable.

[Submitted By JJ]


From: Mom

just saw your little piece on you tube. or is it u tube. or is it
leave me alone, i'm old.

the POINT is, it was just so fabulous. love love love it.


My Mom & The Beatles, 1965

Facebook comment to Mom: Remember when you went to the Beatles concert and held up a sign that said "How about a little slap and tickle"?

Mom: no, it was, "hey, fab four, how about a little slap and tickle?" it was a huge sign. on a huge sheet and we glued tons of sparkle on every letter. we brought it to the beatles concert (1965) and we planned to hold it up real high. because surely the beatles would notice us and invite us to party with them after the concert. the thing was, as
soon as we held up our massive pathetic banner, the people sitting behind us said, rather coldly, "could you put that down? we can't see." yes, daughter, that's the story of the day we didn't meet the beatles.