From: Mom
To: Wendy
Remember, if you want to avoid having the surgery I just had, do your kegels. And don't lift a lot of heavy stuff.
xoxo Mom
Showing posts with label EMAIL. Show all posts
Showing posts with label EMAIL. Show all posts
Mitch McConnell: A Mother's Hatred
To: Me
From: Mom
From: Mom
i just wanted to say something. we were talking about mitch mcconnell, the republican from kentucky who is the senate minority leader, and who has said the republicans' goal is to defeat obama. that's what he said; that is the goal. not a focus on less war or more jobs, or anything specific that would help the american people, but simply to defeat obama. i get sick when i look at mitch mcconnell. i just know he has bad breath. |
Emails From My (Vietnamese) Mother
This is an email my Vietnamese mother sent me---she resides in Vietnam most of the year.-- (@SammiRutschman)
To: Sammi
From: Mom
Dear all my beautiful lady.
From: Mom
Dear all my beautiful lady.
I am better, the pain in all of my one leg is extreme but if I take pain pill I am ok.
We have a good help now on working at the house and keep the tree and plant great.
The person is 19 year old. When he about 5 year old he have an accident and lost all he man hook [manhood] he dont have the male thing and he at like girl.
But super clean and good cook and work great. and he a mountain man only a few of them they call them Cham.
It about midnight here I take the medicine that help my nerves so I not sleep much. and very tired.
I do love all of you and hardly waiting to see you.
Mom
5 Minutes Late...
To: Mom
From: RG
How was the doctor? What did he say?
From: Mom
To: RG
When we got there, the lady at the desk told us "well, you're 5 minutes late, so you should just go right up and pay after" and rolled her eyes. I couldn't believe it...5 minutes late for us is the equivalent of being 20 minutes early.
No Sound on This Computer?
From: Mom
i have no sound on this computer. is there a way to get sound? when i tab onto that speaker logo, like on u tube, it doesn't work. is it possible there is no sound on this computer or am i missing something? (please answer with kindness.)
Mom on 'Alana Del Ray' Video
From: Megan
I made a funny video thing!
You can watch it here: (Shit Lana Del Ray Says)
I hope you like it!
It's dumb. It's sooooo dumb.
From: Mom
To: Megan
I made a funny video thing!
You can watch it here: (Shit Lana Del Ray Says)
I hope you like it!
It's dumb. It's sooooo dumb.
From: Mom
To: Megan
| Hi Megan, Thanks for sending your video link. We always enjoy watching you. We had to research Alana del Ray (found out her real name is Lizzie Grant). Are you going to put it on youtube? Then you can see how many hits it gets, right? You are beautiful even when you're portraying a "dizzie broad." We love you, Mom & Dad |
BURNING MAN
To: Family
From: LJ
i love THIS! anyone wanna go to burning man?
To: Family
From: Dad
From: Dad
I think I may be smoldering right now. Do you have to camp out and are there bugs?
Tiny White Bowl That Sat Next to Tiny And Serious Chinese Man is Missing
From: Mom
To: Me
you asked me to describe the tiny white bowl that i've been looking for, for about a week now. i can't think of any new way to describe it. i'm thinking if you find a tiny white bowl, you won't be asking yourself if this is the one i'm referring to. it's about the diameter of a quarter.
i always kept it on the shelf in the bathroom, on top of the little rock where that tiny and serious chinese man is sitting with folded legs. don't mock me. i think the tiny and serious chinese man was originally an ornament for a bonsai plant we couldn't keep alive. i have no idea where the tiny white bowl came from, but it just looked right, sitting beside the tiny and serious chinese man.
so please let me know if you find it.
mom
Germs
From: JS
To: Mom
FYI, I sneezed on the blanket on the couch by accident. dunno if u wanted to wash it or not. Also, the remotes may or may not be covered in germs.
To: Mom
FYI, I sneezed on the blanket on the couch by accident. dunno if u wanted to wash it or not. Also, the remotes may or may not be covered in germs.
From: Mom
To: JS
oh, don't be silly. why would i want to wash the blanket that now has your wet flu germs all over it?
does it please you to be disgusting? this is right up there with your brother saying he doesn't believe in bacteria.
Four-Year-Old Puppet Makes Art
From: Me
To: FamilyTHIS is ridiculous.
From: Dad
I’m pretty sure it’s not a 4 year old but a puppet… and the parents are probably artists (con artists) and the paint was photoshopped. This art video is weirder than the republican debates.
A Bunch of Crap?
From Mom:
To: Family
I saw this quote today from Mother Teresa:
"If we have no peace, it is because we have forgotton that we belong to each other."
My wish: nobody's rolling their eyes and saying "what a bunch of crap."
Lesbihonest, Aunt Alice Was A Lesbian
From: JJ
To: The Fam
I thought I might see Aunt Alice on THIS list.
From: SJ
too lazy to open the link. is it top 10 lesbians or something?
From: Mom
okay. let's get the record straight. my beloved aunt alice (RIP) was NOT a lesbian. though there is nothing wrong with being a lesbian. though my aunt alice may have thought something would be wrong with being a lesbian. but she would be wrong.
i miss my aunt alice. she was such a nice heterosexual.
From: SJ
did you see her haircut, mom? lesbihonest, aunt alice was a lesbian. bless her lesbian soul.
From: Mom
no, aunt alice wasn't a lesbian.
by the way, i'm feeling very guilty now. this started when you three were young and used to say "that's so gay" and i would reply, "you KNOW, aunt alice is a lesbian. there's nothing wrong with being gay!" i made it up. out of the blue. she isn't alive and i'm feeling disrespectful now, both to my aunt and to the gay community. can we please move on?
brother, the more i talk about it, the more legs this thing gets...
Pro-Date, Pro-Occupy!
To: Dad
From: CJ
Read the articles below on dates. They should be an official staple of our shopping lists from now on!
To: CJ
From: Dad
I am pro-date (tho not eharmony.com), pro-fig, and pro-Occupy everything!
From: CJ
Read the articles below on dates. They should be an official staple of our shopping lists from now on!
To: CJ
From: Dad
I am pro-date (tho not eharmony.com), pro-fig, and pro-Occupy everything!
Onesies For The Family
From: JJ
To: Family
Thoughts on THIS? i think we should buy matching pjs for the fam and wear them on christmas morning.
From: Dad
To: Family
Do they come in XXXXXL?
From: Mom
To: Family
I think it's a groovy idea. does everyone want this as their Chanukah gift?
To: Family
Thoughts on THIS? i think we should buy matching pjs for the fam and wear them on christmas morning.
From: Dad
To: Family
Do they come in XXXXXL?
From: Mom
To: Family
I think it's a groovy idea. does everyone want this as their Chanukah gift?
I Want To Know....
From: Mom
To: Megan
Who's the date with? Is it the perverted guy that you and E were checking out at home?Where are you going? Did the guy come to work on your loft bed - is he your date?...Is your roommate all moved in and where are you sleeping? How are things going with your roommate? Did you hang the mirror and do you have a room divider up yet?...I want to know...
Love ,
Yo Momma
vaporizers
To: Megan
Who's the date with? Is it the perverted guy that you and E were checking out at home?Where are you going? Did the guy come to work on your loft bed - is he your date?...Is your roommate all moved in and where are you sleeping? How are things going with your roommate? Did you hang the mirror and do you have a room divider up yet?...I want to know...
Love ,
Yo Momma
vaporizers
PERFUME ADVISORY
just wanted to send along another advisory about perfume. to reiterate:
THE PURPOSE OF WEARING PERFUME IS TO SMELL NICE.
THE PURPOSE OF WEARING PERFUME IS NOT TO DROWN OUT EVERY OTHER SURROUNDING SCENT (NOR TO COVER UP POOR PERSONAL HYGIENE ISSUES). AND ALSO IT SHOULDN'T CAUSE ANY OF THE PEOPLE WHO COME IN CONTACT WITH THE WEARER TO SUDDENLY FEEL EXTREME DIZZINESS OR THE ONSET OF A SEVERE HEADACHE.
love,
mom
buy volcano vaporizer
THE PURPOSE OF WEARING PERFUME IS TO SMELL NICE.
THE PURPOSE OF WEARING PERFUME IS NOT TO DROWN OUT EVERY OTHER SURROUNDING SCENT (NOR TO COVER UP POOR PERSONAL HYGIENE ISSUES). AND ALSO IT SHOULDN'T CAUSE ANY OF THE PEOPLE WHO COME IN CONTACT WITH THE WEARER TO SUDDENLY FEEL EXTREME DIZZINESS OR THE ONSET OF A SEVERE HEADACHE.
love,
mom
buy volcano vaporizer
What Happened on The Bachelorette?
From: Mom
To: Me
What happened on The Bachelorette? I'm sure I could google it but I'd rather hear it from you.
From: Me
To: Mom
Ames got "kicked off." She just didn't feel a strong enough connection with him. Her feelings for J.P. are growing stronger. Fiji next week!
From: Mom
To: Me
Is Ames the nice guy with the big forehead?
To: Me
What happened on The Bachelorette? I'm sure I could google it but I'd rather hear it from you.
From: Me
To: Mom
Ames got "kicked off." She just didn't feel a strong enough connection with him. Her feelings for J.P. are growing stronger. Fiji next week!
From: Mom
To: Me
Is Ames the nice guy with the big forehead?
Kerfuffle?
From: Mom
To: Sage
KERFUFFLE! that's the word i keep hearing and never heard before lately.
To: Sage
KERFUFFLE! that's the word i keep hearing and never heard before lately.
And the Dentist Nags Continue...
To: Family
From: Mom
there are three people in dad's office that go to a dentist in newton that they all love. we are all due for dental checkups so i wondered if we should try to set up some appointments.
(only problem is the three people in dad's office who see this dentist are beautiful women, so i'm not sure if you have to be a beautiful woman to see him, in which case dad would be the only one pre-qualified.)
mumz
From: Mom
there are three people in dad's office that go to a dentist in newton that they all love. we are all due for dental checkups so i wondered if we should try to set up some appointments.
(only problem is the three people in dad's office who see this dentist are beautiful women, so i'm not sure if you have to be a beautiful woman to see him, in which case dad would be the only one pre-qualified.)
mumz
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