letter from moody mother; more on the slutty white shorts

Subject: slutty white shorts and mood swings
From: Mom
To: Me

i will give you ten dollars if you let me throw out your slutty white shorts.

another thing. you accuse me of mood swings. but you didn't spend your evening cleaning out cat shit from three litter boxes of the cats that are supposedly your daughter's. and then after you brought all the trash to the curb, your husband didn't inform you that he stepped in dog shit and it got embedded into the soles of his sneakers that have a million tiny little grooves. and while you're having a little hissy fit, you didn't hear your rich next door neighbors in their yard, being all happy and perfect, speaking to each other sensibly and calmly, even the kids.

so don't tell me.

My Dad & Craigslist

This is from my dad. i'm trying to sublet my apartment and my dad, since it is his BLING is really pushing it. But I never have luck on Craigslist, especially when trying to sublet an apartment. It's always people who speak in broken english. One guy asked me if his family of 5 could fit in the room. My dad is so persistant with trying to sublet, he's like "what's wrong with that!? Show it tomorrow!"


From: yichin
To: Me
Subject: $700 / 1br UTILITIES INCLUDED! SUBLET ASAP (Allston)

daer there,

I'm interested in your room, can i ask the gender of the two other roommates? and which floor is it? I'm also in hury.

Pls reply me asap.


To: Dad
From: Me

SEE dad, these are the type of people that respond to ads in Allston!

To: Me
From: Dad

What’s wrong with those questions? I suggest you answer asap and I can be there when you show the apt.


What's wrong with those questions? What's wrong is that she forgot a few words in her email. What's wrong is that she starts her email with "daer there."

Emails from YOUR mother

If you have any emails from YOUR mother that are worthy of sharing, by all means send m e an email so I can post it!