So You're Single on Valentine's Day: A Reminder From My Mom

The V-Day cards and gifts have arrived!  

"Dont you just love this? You can comb her hair, Chloe!"

And for my 27-year old brother, a walking penguin and a card... 

5 Minutes Late...

To: Mom
From: RG

How was the doctor?  What did he say?

From: Mom
To: RG

When we got there, the lady at the desk told us "well, you're 5 minutes late, so you should just go right up and pay after" and rolled her eyes.  I couldn't believe it...5 minutes late for us is the equivalent of being 20 minutes early.  

No Sound on This Computer?

From: Mom

i have no sound on this computer. is there a way to get sound? when i tab onto that speaker logo, like on u tube, it doesn't work. is it possible there is no sound on this computer or am i missing something? (please answer with kindness.)

BEST OF: Mom Flips Out Over Lost Suede Jacket

From: Mom
Subject: important
To: SJ

where is your suede jacket. this is unbelieveable. because you've always loved that jacket and have worn it for - what four years now - as a gift to you, i paid $55 to have the zipper (and all buttons) repaired on that jacket, and you LEFT IT SOMEWHERE?! i treat you like a child???!!!!! and where were your dress pants? ya think you'd know where you took them off, wouldn't ya? it only took a month to locate them, lying around somewhere on the third floor.
WHERE IS THAT JACKET. if you should remember where you last put it, and if it should still be there, i would like to donate it to a kid who gives a shit.

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