Urgent: Centipede Crisis

To: Mom

I saw a centipede last night. URGENT: we NEED to contact landlord for exterminator ASAP.


From: Mom

david (landlord) email is: xxxxxx@gmail.com
he's very nice. all hippies are.
good luck with your centipede witch hunt.

love,
mumz

YOU WON'T GET IT UNTIL IT BITES YOU IN THE ASS

From: Mom
To: Kids

i was thinking, since jolie is coming in for the wedding, and since sage won't be covered for dental insurance (or medical insurance) when he turns 26, and since chloe hasn't been to the dentist in a few months, why don't the three of you make an appt to see barry in august?

this is a good idea. listen to your mutha.



From: Sage

Chloe add this to the blog



From: Mom

it's not that my email said anything objectionable, but i don't understand why it would be put on any blog. one of these days you're going to be having what you think is a private conversation with a friend, and the next thing you know, your private conversation is posted on the internet for public amusement.

you won't get it until it bites you in the ass. i'll say it again: your generation does not respect boundaries.

Happy Birthday, Iggy Pop

Mom: here's a good one; yesterday I was sitting at a light on Lee Hwy and an older man rolled down his window and asked if I could give him directions to get to North Carolina
I guess he thinks its a short drive

Nick:
haha, you just stay on route 29, it goes all the way down to jacksonville florida

Mom: he's probably still driving saying; how long did that lady say we had to go until we got there?
the twins were 61 yesterday, i can't believe it

Nick:
wowie, iggy pop is 63 today
hard to believe iggy pop is older than them!

Mom:
yeah i know I sent him a card, it said hope you have an "iggy" birthday

Nick: thats awesome, custom made?

Mom: get it "icky" and iggy sound simiilar
no I found it at hallmark store in the iggy pop birthday card section

Nick: haaaaaaaa stop

Mom: okay...but I'm on a roll

She Had a Baby...

From: JJ
To: Mom

Brittany B had a baby!


From: Mom
To: JJ

really? is she married and all that? i'm thinking she's 25. that doesn't seem THAT young. what did she have and what did she name it? did you find out through facebook or did she call you as soon as she gave birth?

Dad's TV Pitches

Note: I asked my Dad to think of some ideas of skits for my cable access show.

From: Dad
To: Me

Twacebook…a new social media tool that's better than facebook and better than twitter…it's where people sit next to each other and talk.


Fig triva- The host asks the tough fig questions...contestants have to hold up a fig if they know the answer