Sauced?

From: Mom

Date:
Sun, 22 Jun 2008 5:37 pm

two things.

first, is "sauced" a good thing or a bad thing?

second, to celebrate my birthday, i would like the five of us to spend four days in new york city doing stuff i like, like maybe a broadway play and eating green jello at stage deli. dad and i are thinking we'd like to do this thursday..................

mom.
From: Mom
To: Me


i love you so much, and i think you're beautiful. so i hope you don't take this the wrong way: please stop wearing those slutty white shorts.

mom.

WE'RE NOT A FILL UP STATION.

From: Mom
To: Me
Subject: running on empty

hey, pals.

we're not a fill-up station. quit leaving the car in the driveway that's completely out of gas, and driving away with the one that's full.

if it's very low, please put at least SOME gas in the car before returning it to us.

MY MOM on Emails From My Mother

From: Mom

dahlink,

yesterday i was bored so i googled my own name. lo and behold, there was that blog that you said you'd deleted.

i'm afraid you're a dentist and a republican.

NO YARD SALE AT MY HOUSE!

From: Mom
To: Me
Re: i love you!

THERE WILL BE NO YARD SALE AT MY HOUSE.

I WILL NOT GIVE OUT ANY MORE EXPLANATIONS. NEITHER OF YOU LISTENS TO THEM.

THERE IS NO YARD SALE. LEAVE ME ALONE.

words that come to mind: [incredibly] spoiled, [incredibly] rude, [incredibly] disrespectful, [incredibly] immature, [incredibly] annoying, [incredibly] ungrateful, [incredibly] inconsiderate, [incredibly] selfish.