Text From Mom

hi i need phone number for my friend marion if you r home thnx btw lol wtf

HAPPY EASTER (TEXT)

Mom: THE EASTER BUNNY HAS NOT FORGOTTEN YOU.

[Submitted by Elizabeth]

Today is Respect Life Sunday

Note: Cody is my stuffed dog from when I was 8. My mom likes to personify him as an ideal child, usually for the purpose of harassing us to go to church.

From Mom: Today is Respect Life Sunday. Cody has been to Mass & Communion & is in one of the human life chains nationwide defending & protesting outside abortion clinics. Coday LOVES God too much to let him down! Loving, Loyal Cody!

[Submitted by Liz]

I'll Stick My Head in the Oven

From my sister: Does mom ever threaten you with sticking her head in the oven if you don't reply to her text messages or is that just my pleasure to receive?

From Mom: Go ahead, ignore me. I'll go stick my head in the oven...& i'm sick, too! Hope you spill your mushroom soup! & there were PRINCESSES on your spaghettios!...e-mailing Santa --mommy.

[Submitted by Liz]

Dad + Snoop + Rihanna

me: do you know who snoop dogg is?

dad: yeahh shizzle my nizzle...that's snoop dogg

me: do you know who rihanna is? mom didn't.

dad: she got beaten up by her boyfriend chris.

me: wow, mom didnt know who she was.

dad: she doesn't know what fergolicious means either. she thinks black eyed peas is a vegetable.

[Submitted By JJ]

SUPERBOWL SUNDAY: Text From Dad

From: Dad

To: JJ

me: Who r we routing for?

Dad: New orleans saints

me: Cuz of Kim Kardashian?

Dad: Bc of Katrina

me: That doesn't seem like a good enough reason

Dad: tis 4 me

[Texts] With Dad

Dad: Will you be home for dinner?

Me: No but save me some for when I get home.

(a few hours later)
Me: We went out for dinner actually but I'll take mine for lunch tomorrow.
Dad: Drop dead. This is not a take out joint.
Dad: We are doing 7 sea food courses for x-mas eve. Sweet!!!!!!!
Me: Whaaat?
Dad: If you were here for dinner you'd know what we were talking about.

[Submitted by NK]

Texts From DMB Concert

Dad: 6 songs in to Dave Matthews. Your mom is smokin up with the kids.

{submitted by NK}

Sassy Texts w/ Dad

Me: I had a dream last night you wore black sequined leggings. WHAT DOES THAT MEAN????!!!!

Dad: It mens ur a crzy beatch or u found out bout my part time job

(special thnx to SV)

Texts From Self-Proclaimed "Penis Waxing Queen"

From mom: "Did two male Brazilian waxes today."

A minute later from mom: "I AM THE PENIS WAXING QUEEN!"

Me, to mom: " EW mom, gross."

From mom: "Jealous?"

(submitted by Susie...thanks!)

texts from my mother

TEXTS FROM MOTHER /// thank you @hottiecakes via twitter

They had refreshments here. Large cookies, etc. I got one that looked like lemon cause it was yellow, but it tasted like cornbread!! I said "where's the beans?"

(feel free to submit texts, tweets, and short emails via twitter- @emailsfrommymom)

texts from my mother

twittered by hottiecakes:

Kelly Clarkson is on Ellen. She's very chunky.