Note from Secretary/Mom

This is literally the 3rd email I've gotten this month, regarding an eye exam. I feel like I'm getting a little old for doctors reminders, but my mom insists...Thanks, secretary Shelley.

From: Mom
To: Me

hello. shelley secretary here. (i'm looking for a new line of work.)
according to my records, you are way overdue for an eye exam. there are several doctors you can choose from (unfortunately, none of their exams include toy puppies that light up and move back and forth on a shelf across the room; nor do they offer treasure chest prizes to well-behaved 23-year-olds).
still and all, you're way overdue for an eye exam.