gCHATS with my mother!

One of my faves!

From Thia:

(***NOTE: i was logged into gChat chatting w/ my friend rebecca. rebecca's status message said "THIA CLOSE YOUR LEGS" and mine said "REBECCA SPIELMAN I AM GOING TO SHOVE YOUR FACE IN SHIT. a little while later, my mother - who somehow figured out how to use gChat along the way - sent me an IM. this is the conversation we had.***)

Despie: Thia - what's up with your signature? who is rebecca???
me: one of my best friends
Despie: is this a joke?
it looks kind of ...uh....creepy to someone who doesn't know what's up...
me: no, mom it is not a joke
Despie: what happened?
me: i am really going to shove my friends face in shit
Despie: why?
whose shit?
me: i don't know yet. haven't gotten that far
but she's got it coming. TRUST
in god
Despie: Oh, thia - did she betray you somehow? Or hurt Doug or something?
Despie: why did she punch him???
can he file charges???
me: no mom, it's my best friend
he likes getting punched
drinking punch...
getting punched....
Despie: OK - well, i don't really understand this, obviously, but i do want to say as an outsider that it's not a great signature for someone - It looks rageful and dry-drunkish. Creepy.
Sent at 4:06 PM on Friday
me: mom
it is JUST a joke
Despie: ok-i'm confused. It doesn't look like a joke.
but i will not interfere, obviously. just giving you a reality check on how it looks to the world.
me: mom i have tears running down my face from laughing so hard
you are coming off kind of nutty
like a funny nutty mom
Despie: especially since you have worked so f*cking hard and done such an amazing job being the person you want to be...it just is kind of weird since you spent so many years NOT wanting to be seen as someone who will shove shit in someone's face...
ok. laugh away.
me: NO mom - i am JUST joking
i'm not ACTUALLY going to shove anyone's face in shit
it is JUST a joke
and i'm sure everyone in "THE WORLD" that you think i'm coming off to
knows i am joking too
Despie: Quit calling your friends and telling them how dopey your mom is...I know you are! Anyway, I love you...
ok - i don't know about the world
so is the punch thing a joke, too???
me: YES
it's all a fucking joke
Despie: drinking punch - that's a serious thing, you know...
me: to make fun of you
but i LOVE YOU
but youre gullible as hell
Despie: well, i don't like shit.
me: i was just messing w/ you
Despie: don't like the smell.
me: i know you don't like shit, mom
Despie: don't like the squishy part.
hate stepping in it.
me: MOM.
seriously you're being really weird
Despie: why not shove a pie in her face?
coconut cream. mmmmmmmmmmmm.
me: goodbye, mom
Despie: ok - gotta go back to work.xoxox
me: ok mom, i love you