I don't even know...

To: Me
From: Mom

hey. there's going to be some vowel movement here for anonymity's sake. yesterday we went to boob rooth's house. he (or she; it very well may be a she) showed me some surprising entries in "emails from my mother." so i've decided, in order to protect the remains of my sacred private self, that from now on i will communicate with you in only one fashion: blinking once for yes and twice for no.
btw, boob has a wonderful dog. a little ocd going on with the ball thing, but wonderful nevertheless. his name (or her name; it may very well be a female) is waldbaum's.