internet lingo and my mother

From: Me
Subject: Re: Massachusetts: Register before it's too late
To: Mom

yes i recall. i talked to dad tho. call me l8r. chow


Re: Massachusetts: Register before it's too late
From: Mom

i think that's a different chow. i know you spoke to dad, about internship and that deli, etc. what's 18r? is that 6:00 your time? oh wait i just got it. L-8-R= LATER!

A LETTER FROM MY MOM TO...ALL OF YOU!

Date:Mon, 29 Sep 2008 8:33 pm

Subject: Obama Supporters Only

jolie,

like we were talking about, you could tell all your friends who support obama that they are not supporting obama at all if they don't actually vote on november 4th. you could tell them what the consequences will be if obama doesn't win. regarding a woman's right to choose; regarding universal health care; regarding our country's world-wide reputation; regarding war; regarding peace.

like i said, without taking the steps to register to vote, or without obtaining and submitting an absentee ballot if necessary, you are in reality supporting mccain.

THIS IS YOUR FUTURE. STAND UP. GET THAT ABSENTEE BALLOT IN. REGISTER TO VOTE. VOTE ON NOVEMBER 4TH.

love,
mom

In the past week...

These were mostly written in bold CAPS and in HUGE font...

From: Mom
To: the kids

so, are we all progressing nicely re absentee ballots and voter registration?

just so you know, if obama loses and i find out you didn't vote, you're out of my will.

LOVE ya.

mom

From: Mom
Subject: having computer problems. PLEASE READ THIS RE OBAMA

it is important that you all get absentee ballots, or register to vote in your new town, whichever applies to you.

you are not supporting obama if you don't vote for him on november 4th.

this is IMPORTANT. THE STAKES ARE HIGH.

mom.

From: Mom
Subject: Orson's checkbook

hi. in cleaning out stuff, i found a pad of checks belonging to orson. can one of you contact him and ask him what he wants me to do with them. you can tell him they are checks #163 to #175. there is also a partially completed check #157 made payable to jolie. all the other checks are blank, so what do you say we buy ourselves some pottery or a speedy-whatever-number.

so really, ask orson what he wants me to do. we have a shredder here; i can just shred them all, or mail them to him.

no mom, i don't go commando!!!

Re: betch
From: Mom

To: me

thanks. by the way (i mean btw), i was putting some of your clean underwear away and discovered a whole drawful in there that you left behind. what's up with that? was that on purpose? you DO usually wear underwear, right?

MY MOM THROWS OUT THE SLUTTY WHITE SHORTS! AND COMPARES HER DECISION TO SOPHIE'S CHOICE

Subject: sluttywhiteshorts
From: Mom

To: Me

i cannot tell a lie: kallie threw out the sluttywhiteshorts.

just kidding. i did. but, listen. think of the anguish and torment i went through before i did it. it was my own personal sophie's choice:

i had to temporarily lie to my daughter (and you KNOW i'm a big fan of truth), or else risk having something bad happen to her because she wouldn't stop wearing slutttywhiteshorts.

can you ever forgive me?

mom.

letter from moody mother; more on the slutty white shorts

Subject: slutty white shorts and mood swings
From: Mom
To: Me

i will give you ten dollars if you let me throw out your slutty white shorts.

another thing. you accuse me of mood swings. but you didn't spend your evening cleaning out cat shit from three litter boxes of the cats that are supposedly your daughter's. and then after you brought all the trash to the curb, your husband didn't inform you that he stepped in dog shit and it got embedded into the soles of his sneakers that have a million tiny little grooves. and while you're having a little hissy fit, you didn't hear your rich next door neighbors in their yard, being all happy and perfect, speaking to each other sensibly and calmly, even the kids.

so don't tell me.

My Dad & Craigslist

This is from my dad. i'm trying to sublet my apartment and my dad, since it is his BLING is really pushing it. But I never have luck on Craigslist, especially when trying to sublet an apartment. It's always people who speak in broken english. One guy asked me if his family of 5 could fit in the room. My dad is so persistant with trying to sublet, he's like "what's wrong with that!? Show it tomorrow!"


(ORIGINAL MESSAGE):

FWD TO: DAD

From: yichin
To: Me
Subject: $700 / 1br UTILITIES INCLUDED! SUBLET ASAP (Allston)

daer there,

I'm interested in your room, can i ask the gender of the two other roommates? and which floor is it? I'm also in hury.

Pls reply me asap.

yichin


To: Dad

From: Me

SEE dad, these are the type of people that respond to ads in Allston!


To: Me
From: Dad

What’s wrong with those questions? I suggest you answer asap and I can be there when you show the apt.

-Dad


What's wrong with those questions? What's wrong is that she forgot a few words in her email. What's wrong is that she starts her email with "daer there."

Emails from YOUR mother

If you have any emails from YOUR mother that are worthy of sharing, by all means send m e an email so I can post it!