A Bunch of Crap?

From Mom:

To: Family

I saw this quote today from Mother Teresa:

"If we have no peace, it is because we have forgotton that we belong to each other."

My wish: nobody's rolling their eyes and saying "what a bunch of crap."

VOICEMAIL FROM DAD

Lesbihonest, Aunt Alice Was A Lesbian

From: JJ

To:  The Fam

I thought I might see Aunt Alice on THIS list. 

From: SJ

too lazy to open the link. is it top 10 lesbians or something?

From: Mom

okay.  let's get the record straight.  my beloved aunt alice (RIP) was NOT a lesbian.  though there is nothing wrong with being a lesbian.  though my aunt alice may have thought something would be wrong with being a lesbian.  but she would be wrong.

i miss my aunt alice.  she was such a nice heterosexual.

From: SJ

did you see her haircut, mom?  lesbihonest, aunt alice was a lesbian. bless her lesbian soul.

From: Mom

no, aunt alice wasn't a lesbian.

by the way, i'm feeling very guilty now.  this started when you three were young and used to say "that's so gay" and i would reply, "you KNOW, aunt alice is a lesbian. there's nothing wrong with being gay!"  i made it up.  out of the blue.  she isn't alive and i'm feeling disrespectful now, both to my aunt and to the gay community.  can we please move on?

brother, the more i talk about it, the more legs this thing gets... 

Pro-Date, Pro-Occupy!

To: Dad
From: CJ

Read the articles below on dates.  They should be an official staple of our shopping lists from now on!  


To: CJ
From: Dad


I am pro-date (tho not eharmony.com), pro-fig, and pro-Occupy everything!