From: Mom
To: Megan
Who's the date with? Is it the perverted guy that you and E were checking out at home?Where are you going? Did the guy come to work on your loft bed - is he your date?...Is your roommate all moved in and where are you sleeping? How are things going with your roommate? Did you hang the mirror and do you have a room divider up yet?...I want to know...
Love ,
Yo Momma
vaporizers
PERFUME ADVISORY
just wanted to send along another advisory about perfume. to reiterate:
THE PURPOSE OF WEARING PERFUME IS TO SMELL NICE.
THE PURPOSE OF WEARING PERFUME IS NOT TO DROWN OUT EVERY OTHER SURROUNDING SCENT (NOR TO COVER UP POOR PERSONAL HYGIENE ISSUES). AND ALSO IT SHOULDN'T CAUSE ANY OF THE PEOPLE WHO COME IN CONTACT WITH THE WEARER TO SUDDENLY FEEL EXTREME DIZZINESS OR THE ONSET OF A SEVERE HEADACHE.
love,
mom
buy volcano vaporizer
THE PURPOSE OF WEARING PERFUME IS TO SMELL NICE.
THE PURPOSE OF WEARING PERFUME IS NOT TO DROWN OUT EVERY OTHER SURROUNDING SCENT (NOR TO COVER UP POOR PERSONAL HYGIENE ISSUES). AND ALSO IT SHOULDN'T CAUSE ANY OF THE PEOPLE WHO COME IN CONTACT WITH THE WEARER TO SUDDENLY FEEL EXTREME DIZZINESS OR THE ONSET OF A SEVERE HEADACHE.
love,
mom
buy volcano vaporizer
What Happened on The Bachelorette?
From: Mom
To: Me
What happened on The Bachelorette? I'm sure I could google it but I'd rather hear it from you.
From: Me
To: Mom
Ames got "kicked off." She just didn't feel a strong enough connection with him. Her feelings for J.P. are growing stronger. Fiji next week!
From: Mom
To: Me
Is Ames the nice guy with the big forehead?
To: Me
What happened on The Bachelorette? I'm sure I could google it but I'd rather hear it from you.
From: Me
To: Mom
Ames got "kicked off." She just didn't feel a strong enough connection with him. Her feelings for J.P. are growing stronger. Fiji next week!
From: Mom
To: Me
Is Ames the nice guy with the big forehead?
Kerfuffle?
From: Mom
To: Sage
KERFUFFLE! that's the word i keep hearing and never heard before lately.
To: Sage
KERFUFFLE! that's the word i keep hearing and never heard before lately.
And the Dentist Nags Continue...
To: Family
From: Mom
there are three people in dad's office that go to a dentist in newton that they all love. we are all due for dental checkups so i wondered if we should try to set up some appointments.
(only problem is the three people in dad's office who see this dentist are beautiful women, so i'm not sure if you have to be a beautiful woman to see him, in which case dad would be the only one pre-qualified.)
mumz
From: Mom
there are three people in dad's office that go to a dentist in newton that they all love. we are all due for dental checkups so i wondered if we should try to set up some appointments.
(only problem is the three people in dad's office who see this dentist are beautiful women, so i'm not sure if you have to be a beautiful woman to see him, in which case dad would be the only one pre-qualified.)
mumz
Centipede Leaves a Note
To: Mom
fyi the pillow on the floor in the livingroom probably has a dead centipede under it. i saw ANOTHER one and it was the only thing in reach. afraid to move it in case centipede is still alive. ewww ewww ewww
From: Mom
| dad lifted the pillow. no centipede was there. but he left a note. said he is hurt that you have not made him feel welcome in your home. and that it was his home first. and that he's hoping you can become friends in the future. he suggested maybe you could get together for a drink in cambridge. he also said that it is not easy to have been born with a hundred legs. that he tries to accept it but the jokes still sting. he said he's disappointed that you, of all people, aren't more accepting. |
< 3
Me:first you have to type a < then 3 and it looks like a heart. kind of.
Dad (on g chat): ♥ ???
Me: nice!
Dad: How the fuck did it turn over and turn red???
Dad (on g chat): ♥ ???
Me: nice!
Dad: How the fuck did it turn over and turn red???
(NEW!) BEST OF: Do Not Post About Your Boobs on Facebook
From: Mom
To: LS
You are almost 24 and getting a master's and might be looking for a job someday, and/or trying to make contacts in Europe with adults who might employ you. I REALLY don't think, for the sake of your own self-esteem first of all, and second of all for your resume and for whoever you might want to take you seriously, that you should put posts about your boobs on facebook. I'm serious. AND DO NOT SEND THIS TO EFMM! Or, if you want to, go right ahead, maybe it will give some other young women good advice! OY. You don't see guys putting posts out there about how they wish their penises were bigger, do you? YOU NEVER KNOW WHO CAN READ FACEBOOK, and it makes you sound dumb and like a young woman with low self-esteem. How about a quotation about a favorite piece of artwork instead? Okay, I'm done now.
Love, your feminist since 8th grade wise and smart mother!!!!!!
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