Your Hideous Green Winter Jacket

From: Mom
To: Me

it's way past the acceptable time for me to tell you what you shouldn't wear.

however.  i'm sitting in the dining room and on the chair next to me is your hideous green winter jacket.  it is totally ripped at the seam and the stuffing is all exposed. 

my question is: how can you ask me if it is appropriate to wear uggs in your office, and yet have no problem showing up at work wearing that rag/jacket, looking like a street urchin?

I Haven't Been The Same

From: Mom
To: Me

so sorry if i seem a bit irritable and sullen lately.

i haven't been the same since i lost my hat.

mom